Monday, July 03, 2006

Strange Ailments of the Midtolate-Twenties

At least once a year I am befallen by some strange ailment.

2001- Kidney infection that landed me in the hospital. I would have thought I'd get liver or lung problems before the kidney. And what does a kidney really do, anyhow? Create bile? Who needs that?

2002- Flu. I know this isn't all that abnormal, but it is when you can't hold food down for over a week. Yes, slightly dehydrated.

2003- Fainted due to sunstroke. In the middle of a bar, in the center of all my friends, at the beach. I hadn't even drank anything yet. Just -boom- on the floor, with a healthy crack to the head. They even called an ambulance. On a side note- the paramedic was trying to see if I knew who/where/what I was, and I kept insisting I was 21 (he was looking at my driver's license) and that I was old enough to be in the bar. And of course he was looking at me like I had amnesia, I was 24.

2004- Spider bite on my eyelid. Walked around looking like I'd gotten in a fight for about a week. Not cool.

2005- Broke my foot after tripping down a step and a 2 inch tall welcome mat. Sam Adams pushed me. Went dancing immediately afterwards, then walked around the entire next day telling people I wasn't really hurt, I just needed to walk it off. Got the cast removed just in time for the wedding.

2006- My wisdom tooth decided to suddenly make an appearance. I'm 27, for god's sake. Aren't you supposed to get these in high school??? So half of my face is swollen, it hurts like anything, and I'm not sleeping very well. The best thing that seems to make the pain go away is -get this- Altoids. Man, they really missed a marketing opportunity with this one. Maybe I should write them a letter.

Yay me.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Glass bubble? Padded room?

I got my wisdom teeth out when I was 19, ace.

Weirdo. ;)

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